Roles and Responsibilities in the Bullying Cycle
These pages in the website will be dedicated to presenting important information about the various roles people play in the bullying cycle. I am presenting concepts originally established by Daniel Olweus whose research on peer victimization, done in his native Sweden, has become the measure by which all research on bullying begins and intervention programs are evaluated.
In the pages that follow, I will present and interpret the research done by Olweus but also the information provided in Barbara Coloroso's Olweus-inspired book, The bully, the bullied and the bystander (2003). These pages also strive to provide some ways to incorporate the roles and interventions that can help end bullying with ideas and innovations based on the roles in the bullying cycle.
The first set of roles covered are the ones on the periphery of the actual bullying interaction. In other words, the traditionally unsung players in the bullying cycle.
Possible Defenders
The importance of discussing the less traditional roles in bullying, especially when developing interventions, lies in the possibilities and alternatives that may not have been addressed in the past. For example, if an adult, teacher, parent or caregiver knew that providing models for intervention that can be readily and safely used by onlookers and bystanders to bullying events could decrease the frequency & severity of the victimization, then maybe they would be used effectively to slow the tide of bullying.
Possible defenders are those who dislike the bullying and think that they ought to step in and help but don't. These individuals, whether they are adults in the workplace (or even in public) or, children on the playground, do not intervene for various reasons including:
1. the possible defender may be hesitant to get involved because they don't want to become the
target! Makes sense doesn't it? Often the bully has a reputation and also has something intimidating
about their appearance; they might be large, or aggressive or in the case of the less direct social
bullying, surrounded by their entourage.
2. the possible defender wants to avoid injury. The bully can be large and aggressive and the
onlookers who want to stop the bullying but can't muster the courage often decide they are no match
for the bully and will choose safety and stay out of the event.
3. sometimes the possible defenders who see bullying happening and do nothing feel that their
intervention might make things worse. A legitimate concern really considering the notion that
"telling" has traditionally led to 1) the bully being punished and this worsens the bullying; 2) the target
is pointed out and given a spotlight they REALLY don't want or 3) the "teller" is reprimanded, ignored
or becomes a target after "ratting out" the bully. However, the aftermath of not saying anything has
resulted in outcomes far worse than any of these possible results.
4. possible defenders report not doing anything because they have no idea how to proceed. Schools
often have motivational posters that tell students to "Be Kind," "Bully-Free Zone" or "Remember the
Golden Rule" but less often are students told how to go about intervening or whom to tell in order for
the process to begin. Direct, clear strategies must be taught so that students are prepared to deal
with what they witness and/or experience. Conflict resolution strategies are not enough because
they generally appeal to people who are willing to work out a problem, and whether a person is a
proactive or reactive bully, they are generally unwilling to work out a problem positively.
Possible defenders are individuals who believe that what is going on during a bullying event is wrong and should be stopped but don't intervene for the preceding possible reasons. What these individuals need is the support, strength and strategies to do what is right.
First, children and adults who "rat" on someone being a bully need to have the support of friends and most of all, the adults in their lives. Even as young as kindergarten, teachers and parents must stop telling their children not to "tattle." When children see someone doing something they believe is wrong, whether it is cognitively immature or not, they need to be supported in telling someone that what they saw is wrong. Sometimes that means that another child wronged them in a way that only an egocentric child might perceive as wrong. If a child has a cookie and the "tattler" says, Billy won't share with me, this is a moment for teaching them that they can't have everything they want. It is not an opportunity for an adult to say, stop tattling and, possibly, reprimand the child. You are teaching them not to come to you when they have a problem with someone or they see something happening that they think is wrong. Even though adults are older and shouldn't need this kind of support - not taking an adult seriously when they report abuse or bullying in the workplace can lead to the individual taking matters into their own hands and this, as news reports and criminal records will show, can lead to tragic ends.
Second, children and adults need the strength of their convictions that comes from being raised to defy the status quo or the standard operating procedure and be allowed to voice their concerns and be taken seriously. In Eriksonian socio-cognitive development, this can be fostered when children, as young as 5, are learning to be independent and develop a sense of autonomy. When they are allowed a voice and collaborate in discussions about family decisions and classroom decisions in school - they will feel emboldened that their voice is important and valued. Then, when people pressure them not to tell when they witness violence, they have the strength of conviction and report what they have seen. Adults who have a strong sense of autonomy may be more likely to speak up when they see someone being wronged or someone bullying others in the workplace.
Third, children and adults need to be provided with strategies that work to address what they have seen. Children need their reports to be taken seriously but at the time they see bullying occurring, they need to be given strategies for intervening. Young people who want to intervene can be reminded that strength often comes in numbers and if they see bullying taking place, call together a couple friends and step in. On the other hand, if the possible defender steps in with the target - it may be enough to quell the situation. Bullies usually choose their targets because they don't fight back and don't have the social support of many other children so just one more person might be all that is needed. Adults, on the other hand, may need policies and strategies that are provided by their workplace in order to protect them and give them the background support to step in when they see bullying. A bully might think twice if faced with more than one adversary at a time and certainly if they will be fired for their behavior.
Finally, it should be mentioned that, with children and adults, once the report of bullying has occurred and it has even been hinted that it is a real case of bullying - that being, continuous, unwanted intimidation with a power differential - the bully needs counseling and not expulsion. With adults it means counseling in addition to or in lieu of firing - but the problem cannot be swept under the carpet simply because the bully is reprimanded. Bullying is a learned behavior usually arising because of conditions in the bully's life - it cannot just be punished away. The bully must be taught new strategies for getting what they want or dealing with the times when they simply cannot have what they want. The bystanders, including today's featured bystander - the possible defender - must be given support, strength and strategies to intervene because it is only with a comprehensive approach to bully prevention that an end to bullying will result.
Next role: Disengaged Onlookers...
In the pages that follow, I will present and interpret the research done by Olweus but also the information provided in Barbara Coloroso's Olweus-inspired book, The bully, the bullied and the bystander (2003). These pages also strive to provide some ways to incorporate the roles and interventions that can help end bullying with ideas and innovations based on the roles in the bullying cycle.
The first set of roles covered are the ones on the periphery of the actual bullying interaction. In other words, the traditionally unsung players in the bullying cycle.
Possible Defenders
The importance of discussing the less traditional roles in bullying, especially when developing interventions, lies in the possibilities and alternatives that may not have been addressed in the past. For example, if an adult, teacher, parent or caregiver knew that providing models for intervention that can be readily and safely used by onlookers and bystanders to bullying events could decrease the frequency & severity of the victimization, then maybe they would be used effectively to slow the tide of bullying.
Possible defenders are those who dislike the bullying and think that they ought to step in and help but don't. These individuals, whether they are adults in the workplace (or even in public) or, children on the playground, do not intervene for various reasons including:
1. the possible defender may be hesitant to get involved because they don't want to become the
target! Makes sense doesn't it? Often the bully has a reputation and also has something intimidating
about their appearance; they might be large, or aggressive or in the case of the less direct social
bullying, surrounded by their entourage.
2. the possible defender wants to avoid injury. The bully can be large and aggressive and the
onlookers who want to stop the bullying but can't muster the courage often decide they are no match
for the bully and will choose safety and stay out of the event.
3. sometimes the possible defenders who see bullying happening and do nothing feel that their
intervention might make things worse. A legitimate concern really considering the notion that
"telling" has traditionally led to 1) the bully being punished and this worsens the bullying; 2) the target
is pointed out and given a spotlight they REALLY don't want or 3) the "teller" is reprimanded, ignored
or becomes a target after "ratting out" the bully. However, the aftermath of not saying anything has
resulted in outcomes far worse than any of these possible results.
4. possible defenders report not doing anything because they have no idea how to proceed. Schools
often have motivational posters that tell students to "Be Kind," "Bully-Free Zone" or "Remember the
Golden Rule" but less often are students told how to go about intervening or whom to tell in order for
the process to begin. Direct, clear strategies must be taught so that students are prepared to deal
with what they witness and/or experience. Conflict resolution strategies are not enough because
they generally appeal to people who are willing to work out a problem, and whether a person is a
proactive or reactive bully, they are generally unwilling to work out a problem positively.
Possible defenders are individuals who believe that what is going on during a bullying event is wrong and should be stopped but don't intervene for the preceding possible reasons. What these individuals need is the support, strength and strategies to do what is right.
First, children and adults who "rat" on someone being a bully need to have the support of friends and most of all, the adults in their lives. Even as young as kindergarten, teachers and parents must stop telling their children not to "tattle." When children see someone doing something they believe is wrong, whether it is cognitively immature or not, they need to be supported in telling someone that what they saw is wrong. Sometimes that means that another child wronged them in a way that only an egocentric child might perceive as wrong. If a child has a cookie and the "tattler" says, Billy won't share with me, this is a moment for teaching them that they can't have everything they want. It is not an opportunity for an adult to say, stop tattling and, possibly, reprimand the child. You are teaching them not to come to you when they have a problem with someone or they see something happening that they think is wrong. Even though adults are older and shouldn't need this kind of support - not taking an adult seriously when they report abuse or bullying in the workplace can lead to the individual taking matters into their own hands and this, as news reports and criminal records will show, can lead to tragic ends.
Second, children and adults need the strength of their convictions that comes from being raised to defy the status quo or the standard operating procedure and be allowed to voice their concerns and be taken seriously. In Eriksonian socio-cognitive development, this can be fostered when children, as young as 5, are learning to be independent and develop a sense of autonomy. When they are allowed a voice and collaborate in discussions about family decisions and classroom decisions in school - they will feel emboldened that their voice is important and valued. Then, when people pressure them not to tell when they witness violence, they have the strength of conviction and report what they have seen. Adults who have a strong sense of autonomy may be more likely to speak up when they see someone being wronged or someone bullying others in the workplace.
Third, children and adults need to be provided with strategies that work to address what they have seen. Children need their reports to be taken seriously but at the time they see bullying occurring, they need to be given strategies for intervening. Young people who want to intervene can be reminded that strength often comes in numbers and if they see bullying taking place, call together a couple friends and step in. On the other hand, if the possible defender steps in with the target - it may be enough to quell the situation. Bullies usually choose their targets because they don't fight back and don't have the social support of many other children so just one more person might be all that is needed. Adults, on the other hand, may need policies and strategies that are provided by their workplace in order to protect them and give them the background support to step in when they see bullying. A bully might think twice if faced with more than one adversary at a time and certainly if they will be fired for their behavior.
Finally, it should be mentioned that, with children and adults, once the report of bullying has occurred and it has even been hinted that it is a real case of bullying - that being, continuous, unwanted intimidation with a power differential - the bully needs counseling and not expulsion. With adults it means counseling in addition to or in lieu of firing - but the problem cannot be swept under the carpet simply because the bully is reprimanded. Bullying is a learned behavior usually arising because of conditions in the bully's life - it cannot just be punished away. The bully must be taught new strategies for getting what they want or dealing with the times when they simply cannot have what they want. The bystanders, including today's featured bystander - the possible defender - must be given support, strength and strategies to intervene because it is only with a comprehensive approach to bully prevention that an end to bullying will result.
Next role: Disengaged Onlookers...