When Bullying Happens to the Strongest
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/jonathan-martin-to-stand-trial-for-threatening-richie-incognito/ar-BBSlAcx?li=BBnba9I
This is the story of a group of men. Men playing in the National Football League (NFL.com). Men who symbolize the toughest, strongest and are among the most skilled athletes in the world. Many of them have tons of money, and most of them are very comfortable. They have trainers, medical experts, handlers, agents, PR people, and the list goes on and on. They are to focus on one thing, playing professional football. So it is with some shock and just a little bit of vindication when stories like this one come out to illustrate the power of peer victimization (bullying).
The story
Richie Incognito was a star lineman for the Miami Dolphins. Jonathan Martin was also a highly regarded lineman for the Dolphins. Martin accused Incognito of constant harassment, intimidation and bullying. Some might call it hazing but the NFL took notice and suspended Incognito after an investigation revealed he and a small group of other players were harassing Martin. In fact, it led to his release by the Dolphins and subsequent signing by the Buffalo Bills after a year out of the League. He has since gotten out of football. Martin continues to be out of the League and legal troubles have followed him. Actually, legal trouble has followed both of them. Bullying and the pain, fear and mental health issues at the root of bullying are probably the culprit.
The important factors
I will preface this section of analysis with the quote featured in the leading article: “When you’re a bully victim & a coward, your options are suicide, or revenge.”
“When you’re a bully victim…”
Probably in the resulting therapy or from the legal troubles that resulted from the case, but Martin is using some jargon here. The roles of bullying have started to be identified and even organized in subsets of roles. For example, we used to just have a bully and a victim, now we recognize that a large number of bullies are themselves, victims and consequently, the “bully-victim.” So maybe Martin has done some bullying himself, and feels that this is the label for him. However, for a man, an African American football player and lineman known for digging it out in the trenches, for that matter, to identify himself as a victim can be crushing and humiliating.
“…and a coward,…”
This part of the quote is typical of bully victims and a large part of the reason why they never tell anyone. The target feels shame and embarrassment, even though they have nothing to be ashamed of – they don’t deserve the bullying violence brought against them. But the fact that a person feels helpless and hopeless, despite being big and strong, can result in feelings of shame and weakness. As a younger, new player in the locker room, Martin was a target and other players allowed it to happen (again, maybe that locker room culture that exists in some gyms) so there was, per the definition of bullying, a perceived power difference. They were most likely, physically similarly strong. However, their status was different and that is played out in professional locker rooms all the time. For example, some hazing goes on like a rookie will be left to pay the bill for a team dinner or they have to carry a veteran’s gym back (usually filled with more than just uniforms). But that isn’t what this behavior was because it was unwanted – Martin filed a grievance, there was cause for punishment and Incognito received it. But in so doing, Martin was an outcast, vilified and basically run out of the league. Imagine the life of an 11 year old with that kind of constant harassment and intimidation.
“…your options are suicide, or revenge.”
ARGH! Such a powerful statement for a grown man to make; he could see NO WAY OUT but to hurt himself or hurt the bull(ies). “Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University” (bullyingstatistics.org.) That’s a span of possibility that makes the statistic almost irrelevant – like when the cable company is coming between 10 and 2 – but the fact that it increases is the point. This symbol of strength, power, arrogance and confidence believes, or believed at some point, that the only way out was violence. What if you had even fewer options or fewer resources for support in the face of bullying? Believe me there are options for both, visit stopbullying.gov for many different resources. But I will pose this…what if the other players had stepped in to stop the bullying? SO much could have been prevented: Martin wouldn’t have felt victimized, Incognito would not be in the place he is with mental health, violence and Buffalo, crimes would not have been committed and the legal troubles for all involved (including the bystanders) would have been avoided. But to this date, there have been no tragedies – Martin, Incognito and the other players involved haven’t harmed themselves or anyone else.
Conclusion
I don’t know if Martin, Incognito or the other players involved have a history of bullying or being victimized but it is safe to say they probably do. This highlights the long-term effects of bullying AND that bullying in the workplace (even a unique one like the locker room of professional athletes) is commonplace. We have to continue to spread the word that bystanders can intervene and stop bullying events within 10 seconds of their initiation, being bullied has long-term effects, being a bully can be a lifelong set of behaviors and people who witness bullying are equally affected by the experience. We can stop it.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/jonathan-martin-to-stand-trial-for-threatening-richie-incognito/ar-BBSlAcx?li=BBnba9I
This is the story of a group of men. Men playing in the National Football League (NFL.com). Men who symbolize the toughest, strongest and are among the most skilled athletes in the world. Many of them have tons of money, and most of them are very comfortable. They have trainers, medical experts, handlers, agents, PR people, and the list goes on and on. They are to focus on one thing, playing professional football. So it is with some shock and just a little bit of vindication when stories like this one come out to illustrate the power of peer victimization (bullying).
The story
Richie Incognito was a star lineman for the Miami Dolphins. Jonathan Martin was also a highly regarded lineman for the Dolphins. Martin accused Incognito of constant harassment, intimidation and bullying. Some might call it hazing but the NFL took notice and suspended Incognito after an investigation revealed he and a small group of other players were harassing Martin. In fact, it led to his release by the Dolphins and subsequent signing by the Buffalo Bills after a year out of the League. He has since gotten out of football. Martin continues to be out of the League and legal troubles have followed him. Actually, legal trouble has followed both of them. Bullying and the pain, fear and mental health issues at the root of bullying are probably the culprit.
The important factors
I will preface this section of analysis with the quote featured in the leading article: “When you’re a bully victim & a coward, your options are suicide, or revenge.”
“When you’re a bully victim…”
Probably in the resulting therapy or from the legal troubles that resulted from the case, but Martin is using some jargon here. The roles of bullying have started to be identified and even organized in subsets of roles. For example, we used to just have a bully and a victim, now we recognize that a large number of bullies are themselves, victims and consequently, the “bully-victim.” So maybe Martin has done some bullying himself, and feels that this is the label for him. However, for a man, an African American football player and lineman known for digging it out in the trenches, for that matter, to identify himself as a victim can be crushing and humiliating.
“…and a coward,…”
This part of the quote is typical of bully victims and a large part of the reason why they never tell anyone. The target feels shame and embarrassment, even though they have nothing to be ashamed of – they don’t deserve the bullying violence brought against them. But the fact that a person feels helpless and hopeless, despite being big and strong, can result in feelings of shame and weakness. As a younger, new player in the locker room, Martin was a target and other players allowed it to happen (again, maybe that locker room culture that exists in some gyms) so there was, per the definition of bullying, a perceived power difference. They were most likely, physically similarly strong. However, their status was different and that is played out in professional locker rooms all the time. For example, some hazing goes on like a rookie will be left to pay the bill for a team dinner or they have to carry a veteran’s gym back (usually filled with more than just uniforms). But that isn’t what this behavior was because it was unwanted – Martin filed a grievance, there was cause for punishment and Incognito received it. But in so doing, Martin was an outcast, vilified and basically run out of the league. Imagine the life of an 11 year old with that kind of constant harassment and intimidation.
“…your options are suicide, or revenge.”
ARGH! Such a powerful statement for a grown man to make; he could see NO WAY OUT but to hurt himself or hurt the bull(ies). “Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University” (bullyingstatistics.org.) That’s a span of possibility that makes the statistic almost irrelevant – like when the cable company is coming between 10 and 2 – but the fact that it increases is the point. This symbol of strength, power, arrogance and confidence believes, or believed at some point, that the only way out was violence. What if you had even fewer options or fewer resources for support in the face of bullying? Believe me there are options for both, visit stopbullying.gov for many different resources. But I will pose this…what if the other players had stepped in to stop the bullying? SO much could have been prevented: Martin wouldn’t have felt victimized, Incognito would not be in the place he is with mental health, violence and Buffalo, crimes would not have been committed and the legal troubles for all involved (including the bystanders) would have been avoided. But to this date, there have been no tragedies – Martin, Incognito and the other players involved haven’t harmed themselves or anyone else.
Conclusion
I don’t know if Martin, Incognito or the other players involved have a history of bullying or being victimized but it is safe to say they probably do. This highlights the long-term effects of bullying AND that bullying in the workplace (even a unique one like the locker room of professional athletes) is commonplace. We have to continue to spread the word that bystanders can intervene and stop bullying events within 10 seconds of their initiation, being bullied has long-term effects, being a bully can be a lifelong set of behaviors and people who witness bullying are equally affected by the experience. We can stop it.