What’s in a Name?
The Inuit people perform a naming ceremony called, atik (pronounced, a-teek). The newborn is given the name that represents a relative who has passed because they believe in reincarnation and the soul of the relative will pass down to the newborn. Pretty profound worldview.
In Christianity, a child’s name is honored with a christening and/or a baptism where the minister will speak the child’s Christian name to bring him into the world of Christianity, the Church and the community.
In Japan, mostly in the past, but it still happens occasionally, a person will commit seppuku (ritual suicide) if they bring shame to the family name. A lot of eastern and some western cultures have a tradition of honoring the family name because your name means so much to who you are and what you become.
My first child is named Liam Christian. We named him Liam because it is a derivation of Wilhelm and we wanted to honor my German background. His middle name Christian comes from his uncle Matthew who is on my wife’s side of the family in an effort to honor her background. His name is important to him because it holds a family treasure of meaning. But it also means “determined [stubborn] protector”. I hope he never needs to embody the meaning of his name but, it is in his name.
Names are important. Slaves had their African names taken from them in an effort to dehumanize them. When I was a supervisor watching student teachers I routinely talked to kids, almost always Latino, whose names were “Americanized.” A friend of mine said that in elementary school the school, in an effort to assimilate him, changed the pronunciation of his name from Leonardo /lay-oh-nar-doh/ to Leonard /le-nerd/. He didn’t protest because he was young, his parents supported his assimilation and teachers can be intimidating but also respected to the point of “doing no wrong.”
When I was a teacher educator, I had a student from Georgia (the republic, not the state). One day, early in the term, she came to me after class in tears. I was concerned and asked her what was wrong. She said she had been in the United States since she was a sophomore in high school (about 10 years at that point) and that I was the first teacher who ever made the effort to pronounce her name correctly. Names matter.
Children are given their names to represent them throughout their lives. Recently, I have been noticing that maybe the drive to be unique and the short-sightedness of parents is resulting in children with names that will cause grief and hindrances that are born out of a parents need to be unique, not the child’s. The result is a public who puts them in check (to a certain degree) and the outcry from the accused parent for the public to stop teasing, bullying and hurting the child – when it isn’t the child choosing the name at all. So why is this an issue for my website? Because the naming of a child puts a label on them that he or she will be carrying with them for a lifetime and a myriad of things can go awry if that label is perceived as inappropriate. Some cultures already have an abundance of obstacles in their path to success and the one thing parents intentionally give them is a name, and it can represent yet another obstacle to success as I will explain throughout this post.
For example, an Inuit child is thought to have the wrong atik if they have trouble sleeping through the night – and will find peace at night if they have the right name. The “right” name is important even in the folktales that accompany the connection between the person and their name. Therefore, parents are very mindful of the name they give their newborn.
Again, slaves had their African names taken away, Latino children have their names “Americanized” and women give up their last names upon marriage (and it is even a symbol of empowerment and women’s liberation when they keep it or hyphenate it with their spouse’s). It is important.
As a former Kindergarten teacher, and now as a parent, I see the importance of their names even more. It is what the children respond to, one of the first things they learn to recognize when they see or hear it and one of the first things we try to teach them to write. When a person nullifies that connection or doesn’t respect the background of the name – it decreases the connection the child will make. Slowly but surely, the child learns that it is no big deal to mispronounce or just ignore the pronunciation altogether and it stands to reason that other people will make less effort to pronounce it correctly and it becomes ever changed, eroding the strength of the history, meaning and intent of their name.
But how difficult should we make the pronunciation of names in pursuit of giving them unique names when the success of a child isn’t based on their names but rather their efforts and external influences? In other words, if the research on names and success is any indicator, external influences are important on the success of any person so why make my name such that the external forces can possibly hinder my progress?
Let me give you an example, a writer for Salon.com wrote an article featuring research by Harvard University that showed, all things being equal, a person with a “Black” name like LaShawnda will be passed over for a job for a person with a more “European White” name like Linda. So, if we know that influence, why do parents still give their children names like “Abcde”? Because we think it makes them unique – and research shows that people who give their children unique names that can trounce on the rules of pronunciation generally rally against the norm – and that their names will make them stand out in a crowd. And they will possibly suffer ostracism and ridicule. For what? So that a parent can impart a lesson on acceptance for others to learn or plant a “strength” in their child to expect and demand that others pronounce their name correctly? A parent has to ask if it is really worth it when, if they gave their child a more conventional name, it would contribute to their success, not detract from it. In other words, who is the point for? Both my children have, what I thought at the time, unique names that don’t buck the rules of pronunciation so that people will see their names as unique but not mispronounce them or make fun or just not try to pronounce it correctly and thus be more likely to not talk to them or call on them.
It is anachronistic to use “Black” names as the example for uniqueness of names because cultural studies have shown that names like Lawanda, Lakeisha, and Dauntay are a supportive response to the Black Power movement of the 60s and 70s, so a switch to more European names in the past 10 years or so is a response to the lack of success that came from choosing “unique” names that buck up into the “White establishment.” In other words, African Americans specifically and intentionally started making names that were non-traditional to show power and movement away from the norm. But when Jeronte is sitting in our classes, we aren’t as stricken as we might have been 50 years ago. AND, add to that, a cultural move of White parents giving their children unique spellings of names, if not a total move from more traditional European/White names. Aidan is a long standing name in the Irish tradition – first recorded in the 7th century - but White parents these days aren’t necessarily taken with the history of Aidan and give it a “unique” spelling instead, so Aidan becomes “Aydun”.
Or, White parents go completely out of bounds with a name featured in a viral video that garnered lots of attention featuring a mother at the airport with her five year old daughter named, “Abcde” /Ab-cidee/. Evidently the clerks were giggling and tittering and basically being immature with the little girl’s name. Where the mother makes the error, in my opinion, is in acting like it isn’t the very kind of name that she wanted to garner attention – she just [probably] hoped for positive attention and not teasing. But she also errs in placing the target of the ridicule on the child – Mom….they are making fun of YOU for naming her a series of alphabetic letters in the same order and passing it off as a name, not the child who you saddled with the name. The same goes for the expectant mother who was hurt that she was naming her coming child, “Squire Sebastian Senator” in an effort to inspire greatness in him, and her family made fun and ridiculed her for choosing that name. She goes on to explain how her family tree includes actual senators and squires and that Sebastian is also a family name. But here is her error…she was incensed and cancelled her baby shower with an accompanying PUBLIC video explaining why the shower was cancelled and how awful her family is. She chose a provocative name and is shocked and appalled that it provoked a response. She just thought it would be supportive. It wasn’t. But it is an opportunity to teach your child how to respond with dignity or, ignore the teasing, rather than become inflamed.
But my question for both of these particular parents is this…you give the child this name in an effort to inspire greatness in them but then show them how to respond to ridicule and teasing with no dignity, no confidence and with little restraint. Why not show them that your name is unique and people might not respond favorably to it but remember it is only part of the equation to being respected, successful and great. The way you carry yourself and that name is a much larger part of your future success.
Even if we consider the public health epidemic that is bullying; until we find a way to prevent bullying from infancy, why give people who are preying on the vulnerabilities of others – or worse, they become bullies because of the torment that comes from others about their names- why make it harder for our children? Trust me, I understand, I should be able to name my child “Blanket” and know they won’t be made fun of, but children are just navigating their way through learning about life and when they see older adults do it, we should expect they will at least try that strategy. Why give the external world more fodder?
I write about issues concerning children and the environment in which they grow. Children’s names are important. They are important to their identity. They are important to the person they will become as they mature. Parents must take a moment and make sure they are picking or not picking, inventing a name for their child or honoring someone with a name that is for the child’s best interests, not the selfish, self -aggrandizing motives of the parent.
The Inuit people perform a naming ceremony called, atik (pronounced, a-teek). The newborn is given the name that represents a relative who has passed because they believe in reincarnation and the soul of the relative will pass down to the newborn. Pretty profound worldview.
In Christianity, a child’s name is honored with a christening and/or a baptism where the minister will speak the child’s Christian name to bring him into the world of Christianity, the Church and the community.
In Japan, mostly in the past, but it still happens occasionally, a person will commit seppuku (ritual suicide) if they bring shame to the family name. A lot of eastern and some western cultures have a tradition of honoring the family name because your name means so much to who you are and what you become.
My first child is named Liam Christian. We named him Liam because it is a derivation of Wilhelm and we wanted to honor my German background. His middle name Christian comes from his uncle Matthew who is on my wife’s side of the family in an effort to honor her background. His name is important to him because it holds a family treasure of meaning. But it also means “determined [stubborn] protector”. I hope he never needs to embody the meaning of his name but, it is in his name.
Names are important. Slaves had their African names taken from them in an effort to dehumanize them. When I was a supervisor watching student teachers I routinely talked to kids, almost always Latino, whose names were “Americanized.” A friend of mine said that in elementary school the school, in an effort to assimilate him, changed the pronunciation of his name from Leonardo /lay-oh-nar-doh/ to Leonard /le-nerd/. He didn’t protest because he was young, his parents supported his assimilation and teachers can be intimidating but also respected to the point of “doing no wrong.”
When I was a teacher educator, I had a student from Georgia (the republic, not the state). One day, early in the term, she came to me after class in tears. I was concerned and asked her what was wrong. She said she had been in the United States since she was a sophomore in high school (about 10 years at that point) and that I was the first teacher who ever made the effort to pronounce her name correctly. Names matter.
Children are given their names to represent them throughout their lives. Recently, I have been noticing that maybe the drive to be unique and the short-sightedness of parents is resulting in children with names that will cause grief and hindrances that are born out of a parents need to be unique, not the child’s. The result is a public who puts them in check (to a certain degree) and the outcry from the accused parent for the public to stop teasing, bullying and hurting the child – when it isn’t the child choosing the name at all. So why is this an issue for my website? Because the naming of a child puts a label on them that he or she will be carrying with them for a lifetime and a myriad of things can go awry if that label is perceived as inappropriate. Some cultures already have an abundance of obstacles in their path to success and the one thing parents intentionally give them is a name, and it can represent yet another obstacle to success as I will explain throughout this post.
For example, an Inuit child is thought to have the wrong atik if they have trouble sleeping through the night – and will find peace at night if they have the right name. The “right” name is important even in the folktales that accompany the connection between the person and their name. Therefore, parents are very mindful of the name they give their newborn.
Again, slaves had their African names taken away, Latino children have their names “Americanized” and women give up their last names upon marriage (and it is even a symbol of empowerment and women’s liberation when they keep it or hyphenate it with their spouse’s). It is important.
As a former Kindergarten teacher, and now as a parent, I see the importance of their names even more. It is what the children respond to, one of the first things they learn to recognize when they see or hear it and one of the first things we try to teach them to write. When a person nullifies that connection or doesn’t respect the background of the name – it decreases the connection the child will make. Slowly but surely, the child learns that it is no big deal to mispronounce or just ignore the pronunciation altogether and it stands to reason that other people will make less effort to pronounce it correctly and it becomes ever changed, eroding the strength of the history, meaning and intent of their name.
But how difficult should we make the pronunciation of names in pursuit of giving them unique names when the success of a child isn’t based on their names but rather their efforts and external influences? In other words, if the research on names and success is any indicator, external influences are important on the success of any person so why make my name such that the external forces can possibly hinder my progress?
Let me give you an example, a writer for Salon.com wrote an article featuring research by Harvard University that showed, all things being equal, a person with a “Black” name like LaShawnda will be passed over for a job for a person with a more “European White” name like Linda. So, if we know that influence, why do parents still give their children names like “Abcde”? Because we think it makes them unique – and research shows that people who give their children unique names that can trounce on the rules of pronunciation generally rally against the norm – and that their names will make them stand out in a crowd. And they will possibly suffer ostracism and ridicule. For what? So that a parent can impart a lesson on acceptance for others to learn or plant a “strength” in their child to expect and demand that others pronounce their name correctly? A parent has to ask if it is really worth it when, if they gave their child a more conventional name, it would contribute to their success, not detract from it. In other words, who is the point for? Both my children have, what I thought at the time, unique names that don’t buck the rules of pronunciation so that people will see their names as unique but not mispronounce them or make fun or just not try to pronounce it correctly and thus be more likely to not talk to them or call on them.
It is anachronistic to use “Black” names as the example for uniqueness of names because cultural studies have shown that names like Lawanda, Lakeisha, and Dauntay are a supportive response to the Black Power movement of the 60s and 70s, so a switch to more European names in the past 10 years or so is a response to the lack of success that came from choosing “unique” names that buck up into the “White establishment.” In other words, African Americans specifically and intentionally started making names that were non-traditional to show power and movement away from the norm. But when Jeronte is sitting in our classes, we aren’t as stricken as we might have been 50 years ago. AND, add to that, a cultural move of White parents giving their children unique spellings of names, if not a total move from more traditional European/White names. Aidan is a long standing name in the Irish tradition – first recorded in the 7th century - but White parents these days aren’t necessarily taken with the history of Aidan and give it a “unique” spelling instead, so Aidan becomes “Aydun”.
Or, White parents go completely out of bounds with a name featured in a viral video that garnered lots of attention featuring a mother at the airport with her five year old daughter named, “Abcde” /Ab-cidee/. Evidently the clerks were giggling and tittering and basically being immature with the little girl’s name. Where the mother makes the error, in my opinion, is in acting like it isn’t the very kind of name that she wanted to garner attention – she just [probably] hoped for positive attention and not teasing. But she also errs in placing the target of the ridicule on the child – Mom….they are making fun of YOU for naming her a series of alphabetic letters in the same order and passing it off as a name, not the child who you saddled with the name. The same goes for the expectant mother who was hurt that she was naming her coming child, “Squire Sebastian Senator” in an effort to inspire greatness in him, and her family made fun and ridiculed her for choosing that name. She goes on to explain how her family tree includes actual senators and squires and that Sebastian is also a family name. But here is her error…she was incensed and cancelled her baby shower with an accompanying PUBLIC video explaining why the shower was cancelled and how awful her family is. She chose a provocative name and is shocked and appalled that it provoked a response. She just thought it would be supportive. It wasn’t. But it is an opportunity to teach your child how to respond with dignity or, ignore the teasing, rather than become inflamed.
But my question for both of these particular parents is this…you give the child this name in an effort to inspire greatness in them but then show them how to respond to ridicule and teasing with no dignity, no confidence and with little restraint. Why not show them that your name is unique and people might not respond favorably to it but remember it is only part of the equation to being respected, successful and great. The way you carry yourself and that name is a much larger part of your future success.
Even if we consider the public health epidemic that is bullying; until we find a way to prevent bullying from infancy, why give people who are preying on the vulnerabilities of others – or worse, they become bullies because of the torment that comes from others about their names- why make it harder for our children? Trust me, I understand, I should be able to name my child “Blanket” and know they won’t be made fun of, but children are just navigating their way through learning about life and when they see older adults do it, we should expect they will at least try that strategy. Why give the external world more fodder?
I write about issues concerning children and the environment in which they grow. Children’s names are important. They are important to their identity. They are important to the person they will become as they mature. Parents must take a moment and make sure they are picking or not picking, inventing a name for their child or honoring someone with a name that is for the child’s best interests, not the selfish, self -aggrandizing motives of the parent.