How Toxic Masculinity Might Bar Talented Men from the Early Childhood Environment
*This is an essay from the notes and outline of my presentation at the 2023 conference in Portland, Oregon of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). I wasn't able to record the proceedings due to the privacy policy of the conference and I understand, open conversation and discussion requires some sense of privacy.*
Around 1991, I was an undergraduate student preparing for a career in early childhood education, specifically, I wanted to be a Kindergarten teacher. Mostly because I wanted to make young children's educational experience so positive that it would take a terrible teacher to ruin what I had started. To begin the journey, I needed to have what was called an "early education experience" and went to my local preschool to inquire about volunteering. At the same time, mere miles away from where I lived, a trial was going on that revolved around various kinds of abuses being perpetrated on young children at the McMartin Preschool. When I met with the preschool director, she let me know she could not accommodate me and told me, "I can't have a man in my preschool because of this trial and the media coverage of it. My parents would take their children out of my school in an instant. I think most preschool directors will feel the same way." I was disappointed but I understood and my privilege as a White, cisgender, upper middle class college student allowed me to brush off this lost opportunity knowing there are many others I could try.
Men in the early childhood environment are an important influence for boys and girls. For boys it can be important to have positive male role models and the same for little girls. Positive male role models are important. Recruiting males to work in early childhood, especially young men of color, is exceedingly difficult and a few studies that have been undertaken show that there are obstacles in place that might be keeping talented young men out of EC. Let's look at some of the dynamics involved with men in the EC and toxic masculinity.
"Toxic masculinity" is defined as traditional characteristics displayed by men for example, stoicism, not showing emotion, courage, assertiveness, power, control and adventurous but amplified. Unfortunately, it is externalized in power, domination and cruelty - usually upon people who are smaller and weaker. Dramatically amplified. These characteristics have become more dramatically obvious because of the threat of the new progressive males and [very likely] because of the spotlight put on LGBTQ+ people and causes (for example, Kid Rock shooting up bud lights because Dylan Mulvaney is a beer spokesperson). It is toxic and unnecessary. Related to those characteristics are other road blocks that exist that are less toxic but all the same preventing men in the EC. For example, some perceptions are keeping men from working with young children: rigid ideas about gender roles and who should be nurturing, compassion and caring in addition to suspicions of family and colleagues regarding WHY a man would want to teach young children. Further regarding rigid gender roles, another roadblock is the perception that men are the breadwinners and EC does not pay well. and then the more insidious perceptions like men who want to work with young children are pedophiles and are responsible for disciplining children [because men are more direct and violent] but also good at "putting furniture together" and "organizing sporting activities."
But EC administrations, parents of young children and men who might want to work in EC need to understand that times are different and there is a new type of male - perfectly "masculine" - because the world around us is changing and with a more pluralistic world, comes more voices, divergent voices and people who need to be allies for/with them. Coincidentally, this new definition is really just a combination of traits that make men experience a more overall human experience. Here are some of the characteristics that symbolize a new definition of masculine:
1. openly experience a wide range of emotions. Toxic masculinity encourages stoicism and keeping emotions inside.
2. interdependence. After decades of independence and "pulling oneself up by their bootstraps", America is coming to learn that no man is an island and it takes a hand up to be successful - it is unavoidable. However, toxic masculinity still encourages blaming others for your failures and praising oneself for your successes - when it is likely a combination of both.
3. vulnerability. Allowing people to see that you might need help. The spark for this revolution in how men show their vulnerability and asking for help may have been returning veteran soldiers from battle. Men with PTSD were encouraged to sit down with mental health professionals and doctors and open up about what they were experiencing post-deployment. Men started to realize that if soldiers could do it, they could too. But the most toxic of returning soldiers held onto their "man as an island unto himself" and it continues.
4. cooperation with others [including help-seeking].
5. kindness
6. softness.
These personality traits just symbolize a more well-rounded human experience and encourage stronger relationships through communication and vulnerability. These traits will make a man a better early childhood educator and open the industry to men who may be just the positive influence young children need in a changing, evolving world.
*This is an essay from the notes and outline of my presentation at the 2023 conference in Portland, Oregon of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). I wasn't able to record the proceedings due to the privacy policy of the conference and I understand, open conversation and discussion requires some sense of privacy.*
Around 1991, I was an undergraduate student preparing for a career in early childhood education, specifically, I wanted to be a Kindergarten teacher. Mostly because I wanted to make young children's educational experience so positive that it would take a terrible teacher to ruin what I had started. To begin the journey, I needed to have what was called an "early education experience" and went to my local preschool to inquire about volunteering. At the same time, mere miles away from where I lived, a trial was going on that revolved around various kinds of abuses being perpetrated on young children at the McMartin Preschool. When I met with the preschool director, she let me know she could not accommodate me and told me, "I can't have a man in my preschool because of this trial and the media coverage of it. My parents would take their children out of my school in an instant. I think most preschool directors will feel the same way." I was disappointed but I understood and my privilege as a White, cisgender, upper middle class college student allowed me to brush off this lost opportunity knowing there are many others I could try.
Men in the early childhood environment are an important influence for boys and girls. For boys it can be important to have positive male role models and the same for little girls. Positive male role models are important. Recruiting males to work in early childhood, especially young men of color, is exceedingly difficult and a few studies that have been undertaken show that there are obstacles in place that might be keeping talented young men out of EC. Let's look at some of the dynamics involved with men in the EC and toxic masculinity.
"Toxic masculinity" is defined as traditional characteristics displayed by men for example, stoicism, not showing emotion, courage, assertiveness, power, control and adventurous but amplified. Unfortunately, it is externalized in power, domination and cruelty - usually upon people who are smaller and weaker. Dramatically amplified. These characteristics have become more dramatically obvious because of the threat of the new progressive males and [very likely] because of the spotlight put on LGBTQ+ people and causes (for example, Kid Rock shooting up bud lights because Dylan Mulvaney is a beer spokesperson). It is toxic and unnecessary. Related to those characteristics are other road blocks that exist that are less toxic but all the same preventing men in the EC. For example, some perceptions are keeping men from working with young children: rigid ideas about gender roles and who should be nurturing, compassion and caring in addition to suspicions of family and colleagues regarding WHY a man would want to teach young children. Further regarding rigid gender roles, another roadblock is the perception that men are the breadwinners and EC does not pay well. and then the more insidious perceptions like men who want to work with young children are pedophiles and are responsible for disciplining children [because men are more direct and violent] but also good at "putting furniture together" and "organizing sporting activities."
But EC administrations, parents of young children and men who might want to work in EC need to understand that times are different and there is a new type of male - perfectly "masculine" - because the world around us is changing and with a more pluralistic world, comes more voices, divergent voices and people who need to be allies for/with them. Coincidentally, this new definition is really just a combination of traits that make men experience a more overall human experience. Here are some of the characteristics that symbolize a new definition of masculine:
1. openly experience a wide range of emotions. Toxic masculinity encourages stoicism and keeping emotions inside.
2. interdependence. After decades of independence and "pulling oneself up by their bootstraps", America is coming to learn that no man is an island and it takes a hand up to be successful - it is unavoidable. However, toxic masculinity still encourages blaming others for your failures and praising oneself for your successes - when it is likely a combination of both.
3. vulnerability. Allowing people to see that you might need help. The spark for this revolution in how men show their vulnerability and asking for help may have been returning veteran soldiers from battle. Men with PTSD were encouraged to sit down with mental health professionals and doctors and open up about what they were experiencing post-deployment. Men started to realize that if soldiers could do it, they could too. But the most toxic of returning soldiers held onto their "man as an island unto himself" and it continues.
4. cooperation with others [including help-seeking].
5. kindness
6. softness.
These personality traits just symbolize a more well-rounded human experience and encourage stronger relationships through communication and vulnerability. These traits will make a man a better early childhood educator and open the industry to men who may be just the positive influence young children need in a changing, evolving world.